To All My Suport, Thank You.

Thanks everyone for your support. I have definitely been down about the comments about why I post so many things about God on FB for a while but the disapproval has really piled on this week. I actually found myself crying real tears over this. Which never happens btw. I don't really ever cry. But when I slowed down I noticed most of the punches came from myself. The worst enemy the devil can use against you, is yourself.

I never had as many complaints about me talking about God when I wrote poetically but I think its because it is less to the point. When I write my blog and share on FB, which I started and all these comments really came roaring in, I find myself writing more structurally and although I use metaphors it's definitely more to the point. Which people who are not believers or who only want to hear God's word at church don't like to be bothered with on a normal day. 
& I began thinking,

 ---I am certainly not qualified. What makes me think I should even write about God? I am not a scholar and although I have plenty of experiences in life to take from I am not what most expect when it comes to being seasoned because I am young. I am not even close to where my mentors are and don't know if I ever will be. My family as a collective whole has and probably always will be in shambles. I have doubts that can be debilitating to my walk with God sometimes & I am constantly making mistakes, especially when it comes to opening my mouth. I am certainly not a living example of Christ that anyone should go off of and I am probably not reaching anyone anyways. These thoughts of mine I could organize in a journal long hand anyways & when I am better put together in Christ, He can use me then.---
These are some of the thoughts that have been going through my head this month only to have people verify my own doubts in myself.

But I got an email today from my daily devotional talking about affliction against those who preach the word. Literally called, Adversity: Catalyst to a Call. This with the encouragement I woke up to on fb has picked me up so much. I am a good person and a strong follower of God. I am a child of God and He loves me, even through all the things I see wrong & others see wrong with me.

Now please don't get me wrong. I don't feel like God is changing lives through what I write or calling me to anything big but I do feel called to write about Him because the passion to write about Him is so strong and it makes me so happy when I have learned something new and get to write about it and share it and read the finished product. Real joy only comes from God.

I have been told I am more than a Christian & I am more than a person of God and should explore those attributes. But the truth is, I am nothing apart from Christ. Who I have become now from who I was in the past is only because of Him. The reason I am living and breathing after my teenage self tried to handle a dark time in my life on my own is solely because of Him. I owe my life to God & whoever I will become later in life, whatever I will do, will only be because of Him.

I understand it can be hard to take. I use to get annoyed or uncomfortable around people who talked "God" all the time and then there came a day when I wanted that. I wanted to be like that and have that. Instead of saying, "God! Really?! You know what I have been through and it's Your fault!" it became "God. You know what I have been though and You love me anyways." The rest is history and will remain that way.

I am so lucky for the Christians God has put into my life to help me with the one thing I have always lacked, confidence. & although it is hard, I do count myself blessed when I get to deal with affliction because it reminds me that not everyone is Christian and that I am not immune to the worlds affliction. And once I get done feeling sorry for myself, which the Lord never allows for long, this realization helps drive my want to spread the word and make this world better the only way it can be done, with His almighty love.

Being a mom of a toddler I don't get chances to evangelize like some do over seas or on foot throughout the community and I don't feel called to do that right now anyways, but I do have the chance to talk to those I come into contact with and to write on my down time and try to reach people through the Internet and I do feel called to do that.

The Internet is used for so many wrongful things and secluds us when we think it draws us nearer. We all should use it to reach people in a better way. In today's world where everyone's head is in a phone or computer, the only Christians they might meet is us through social networking. It might seem small but it is obviously making an effect, even if it is through groans...and tears. God has a reason for everything, and through all my doubts, worries, & affliction, I will rest in Him while I spread His word the best way I can, as of now.