Don't be fooled by an outward appearance.

   What may look small can actually pack a big punch. This ant may look small but can actually lift up to 100 times it's weight and like sin that looks harmless it can hurt much more than we initially bargained for.

   The  thing about sin is oftentimes you don't feel the pain from it until after the sin has been committed. A good example of sin waiting until after you commit it to show its ugly consequences is a sugar ant bite. 

    The first bite you generally don't feel. 9 times out of 10 you don't even know you got bit until it starts itching. Than over the next couple of days the infected area starts to fester and creates a pustule, that if popped, will release the toxins from the ant bite. Until that time though, the ant bite causes discomfort to you.

    Much like sin. Let's say you get upset with someone and decide to tell them off. Feels good doesn't it? Until the buzz wears off of course. Once that happens you get a sudden since of guilt that leaves you wishing you could turn back time. You may be going over everything you said and thinking of how you could have said it better. Maybe, hopefully, wrestling with the want to apologize and talk things out with that particular person. This can go on for days, even a lifetime if you let it. But if you go and talk it out with that friend than you allow that issue to be released and move on.

    Some of us though, take many beatings from ourselves before we see right.

    When I was in high school I was walking to class. Taking my time of course to get there. I stopped to look around and had no idea I was standing in an ant bed. Here in Texas we call these little red guys Texas fire ants. They are huge and they hurt. The pain is known to travel up the leg or arm, depending on where bit, and burning the whole way up there. For whatever reason though, I didn't feel one bite. I had no idea I was standing in an ant bed. It wasn't until I began to move that I felt them. As I tried to get them all off of my foot it had already swelled 3 times it's size. I had to leave school for the rest of the day. The swelling went down by the next day but I was left with bite marks all over my foot and that took about 2 weeks to fully heal. I still have a couple scars.

    Sometimes we tend to think we are fine skirting the fence of right and wrong. We believe we can quit doing something that is wrong whenever we want and it won't affect us at all. ...until we fall over and get roughed up a bit. We skip and we skip along in and out of sin not seeing any negative results and think we are good. What fixing one mess up, like arguing with a friend because of a sharp tongue and egotistic pride, could become alienating everyone we love from our lives.

    Sin needs to be handled immediately and never lessened in any way. Sin, even sin we see as nothing more than little child's play can become so monstrous we don't recognize where it came from and when it gobbles us up and spits us out we are left with scars only Jesus can heal.

    Turn to God today to help identify where your sins lie.

    A convicting nail in your side now is more confortable than sin that will kill you later.

Autumn's Thoughts

The fresh dead leaves float carelessly to the ground
Like music notes in the sky
Fall is almost upon us
The weather is fickle
A bit confused on where its temperature should be
But the trees in early anticipation
Get an early start on shedding the old
& are slowly loosing a couple leaves at a time
Mushrooms are growing up amongst the crisp old fragile leaves
Giving yards a bit of a whimsical feel over the smell of festering musk
That the older leaves give off
Only slightly filling the nostrils
But wonderfully inescapable at the same time

& as I stand outside looking over the colorful ground
Giddy over the notion that in a couple weeks
I'll probably be wearing a sweater
I also think of how I have survived another change
The seasons give life's years a timeline
And with each seasons change
Comes the realization that
We only get so many
And our loved ones only get so many with us
Corbin will be 3 when summer rolls back around
Growing so fast
Steven and I will have been married 11 years a week & 1/2 before then
My nieces and nephews are all growing up so fast
In pictures

& as the thoughts swim around
In my already ticking, conscious, clock like mind
I follow Corbin around to the swing set in the backyard
& I remember when we first got it
Not even 1/2 a year ago
Took forever to put it together
& He could barely use it
But after a couple months of only using the swing
He now does it all
(A great metaphor for our strengthening faith in God)
& much like he grows and learns new things everyday
So do I

I have come to realize that my life
With all that it is
& isn't
I can accept
I can be okay with
& all the disappointments
The situations out of my control
With everything God allows to enter my existence
I am beginning to let go of them
Only by His almighty changing power
I have grown in ways I wouldn't have thought possible
& through it all have begun to learn
To let go & let Him
Things in my life last year
I wouldn't of wanted to let go of
Resentment and justified anger
Pits of sadness and hopelessness
Seasons upon years
Years upon seasons
Everything building up
& this season happens to be the one
That amongst the growing pains of everyday life
I can say its okay
I can release my grasp
Because of the help of God
& now can stretch without the weight of life
Straining my shoulders
Standing erect and growing in my faith

If the amount we change in a year
& the ways in which we do
Could be painted on a canvas
It sure would be a sight to behold
A study within its lines
& if it could be done
The painting of the ones who change themselves
So that they may keep us
Would be an explosion of beauty, struggle, & understanding
evoking strong emotion
Both worthy in their own respects
Complimenting each other's existence

With all the seasons
Come names of people
That I have lost & found
Names of those who impacted my seasons of change
I cannot think of anyone without fond memories
Even amongst the worst memories I have of people
But much like many come and go in life
Soon this fall will disappear
Off of the ground it once laid so effortlessly on
& with it
Winter

The ultimate oxymoron
Frightening the delicate green to stay hiding inside the trees sheltering wood
& the flowers cuddled
Seeded in the sheltering dirt
Even the water hides beneath a shell
But even as powerful and cold as winter is
With it comes Christmas
& a warm sense of giving
A fireplace composing a ballet across the walls of our hearts
A fondness for our fellow man
A feeling we should carry with into the new year
& throughout every season in life

Upon the thought of the second coming season
I experience a bittersweet feeling
The knowledge that this will be another end of year holidays
Separated from siblings
Another one
With a wall between the family
Another one filled with the same old problems
I don't know if my son will ever get the joy
Of having big family holidays
If not with siblings
With cousins
He will have a good Christmas
Filled with more toys than he needs
But what are they
In a room with others that go unplayed with?
How do they stand
Against the joy of family?
I want my boy to have that
Family
Other kids laughter and squeals
Matching his own excitement
I pray one day
I will be able to give Corbin that
By way of siblings
Or cousins
& that one day
We will all be able to do holidays together

But until then
I look back on my many years
Continuing pondering this life thus far
Hoping to learn something new amongst the standing structures & rubble
& thank the good Lord for blessing me
With the seasons He has
The seasons He is
& the seasons He will
I will brush off the feelings that are anything but happy
Knowing that my Father in heaven
Will handle them the way he sees best
I let go of everything
Breath a relaxing smile
Set my son in his swing
Give him a big push
Take in his jubilant squeal
& be happy for this autumn day
The Lord hath given.

Priorities Of A Godly Woman

1 Timothy 5:14
So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

   So it is my 2nd day at work and my back hurts after sitting at this desk all day and entering invoices and product orders. I am certainly not use to the posture it creates for me to say the least. But this problem is not a difficult one, I will get use to it pretty quick. But until then it makes me want to go home and be lazy for the rest of the day but I have responsibilities that have to be tended to when I get home.
   I know there are many working moms out there, single or married that find it difficult to juggle work and then go home and take care of mom duties. For those single women that have no choice but to take care of things I commend thee, but for those women who are married like I am, we have to remember that the house and the children are ultimately our responsibility. We cannot choose to go to work and then come home and want to ignore those responsibilities or get angry with our husbands for not doing them for us. Yes, we may have our husbands at home helping out with some of the chores but in the end, it is our job to make sure those things, especially everything that deals with our children for the most part, is our responsibility. God is very clear about a woman's role in the family.

   The reason I posted 1 Timothy 5:14, even though it is addressed to widows, it is a verse that really pertains to all women. Our main responsibility is maintaining the workings of the household and although our husbands are the head of the household the women are the ones who maintain it. I heard in a movie one time that the man is the head but the women is the neck and she moves the head.

   1 Peter 3:1 explains that we are called to move our husbands not by way of hateful words of guilt but by the way we conduct ourselves. Our husbands are more apt to move and help us and do what we ask or need when we do so in a calm easy going manner. The same goes for the way we ultimately run the house, like our children and our cleaning duties for example. When we take care of those duties like we should our husbands appreciate us more and want to help us out. A happy child and a meal on the table every night, husbands tend to appreciate more than they will an extra check. And because of this, those of us who do work, have to learn to juggle and when we do we need to prioritize the balls we are throwing so that if one falls it is of the least importance. Family, home, and then work is really how our priorities should fall.

   I wonder if anyone stops and wonders if the fact that both parents are having to work to make ends meet is directly correlated to the waywardness of children these days. That being said, it is not wrong for a mother to work and bring home the bread but men and women are wired differently. Our children need to feel secure in the fact that mom is going to be there should they need us. Those of us who are able to make the choice to work or not and choose to go ahead and do so, need to understand that our families and our home come first.
   Our greatest accomplishment in life, aside from our relationship with God, is the children we turn out into the world, not the amount of money we accumulated or the name that we made for ourselves. It can be a daunting task to look at all the things that are required of a godly women and to try to live up to such standards. But God doesn't call us to be perfect wives or perfect mothers. Instead     He calls us to be examples for the younger generation the best way we can. We all fall short of the glory of God but it is the trying to be the best we can in the Lord that matters. In the end it is our faith in God that grants us access to heaven but here on earth our example matters to those who are not saved but more importantly for our children. For the daughters to follow suit of their mothers good examples and for the son, in the fact that you will want him to marry a godly women and he will look for one that matches your example. Titus 2:3-5 addresses this by explaining how women should be examples for the younger generation.
   Proverbs 31 is also a great description of how a woman should hold herself and the duties she should follow. Now I fall short on many of these. I wish I had the tenacity to get up at 3 in the morning with my husband and make him breakfast and a lunch for work but I don't. I barely make it out of bed to get my son and myself fed and ready for him to go to his grandma's house and me to make it to work on time.
   But, when I do get up I make sure that the house is clean enough before I leave. I do the dishes from the night before if I wasn't able to get to them and hang up any clothes I dried as well. When I get home, I cook dinner for my family that we eat at the table & away from electronic devices so I can further keep the relationship between everyone close and up to date on their day. And although my son is only 2, man does he have a lot to talk about at the dinner table! I also pick up toys and whatever else is in the living room that doesn't belong there when I get home and on my days off I vacuum, sweep and mop. My husband helps with some of these tasks but in the end, I know, these are my responsibility. It may sound like a lot but as I fit in all my more important responsibilities along side work I find, even though it seems there isn't enough hours in the day, (Philippians 4:19), God always provides enough time for me to have plenty of down time with the family He has entrusted to me.
   So in about 30 min I will be headed home and I get to relish in the blessings of my work at home and enjoy taking care of my family in the way God intended. I count myself blessed that I get to take care of my family with working as well. I am happy to take on extra responsibilities and I hope all you working mothers are too. Count yourself extra blessed that you get the opportunity to take care of your family in more ways than one!